Welcome!

Hi, everyone! Welcome to my head. I hope it doesn’t scare you off. I’ve been writing a blog on and off for a year on Wix but decided to move here due to a friend’s suggestion, and changes Wix made that I dislike. I’ll be moving my older blog posts over here and writing a bunch of new ones. I took a hiatus on writing because I’ve gone through some heavy life shit pretty recently and fell down a hole. BUT I have gotten help and long story short, I’m working on this. And a book about my adoption story.

This blog won’t focus on a specific thing, and instead will focus on multiple genres but from the eyes and mind of an adoptee. An intro to my story: A lot about my adoption is strange and rare. I was adopted at birth from San Antonio, Texas, raised in Lawrence, New York, and was contacted by my sister Amanda – same name as me! – when I was 23. I have been, what people in the adoption triad call, ‘in reunion’ with my biological family ever since (the triad is made up of adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents).

I realize that my story is unusually happy, and that I am lucky to have had a (mostly) great experience growing up with my parents. But even so, all adoptees experience trauma when they are given up for adoption. Whether that stays with them through life or not is a different story. Growing inside someone for nine months is no small thing. You bond with your biological mother. She is the first person you connect with, logic and rationale be damned. Being taken away from her is traumatic. You are handed to strangers and suddenly, she is gone. This subconscious memory of abandonment stays with most adoptees throughout their lives, even those of us, like myself, who have never felt abandoned by her, or felt any sort of negative feelings for her. I, for example, have not once felt anger, sadness, fear, or abandonment from her, even back when I was a kid wondering why I was given up. I understand that my feelings on the subject are rare and that many, if not most, adoptees feel anger and resentment. But this blog is about me, not everyone else.

So I will speak my mind about my experiences in life as an adoptee who has a positive story, who is coming out of my adoption fog. After all, life is an awfully big adventure and I intend to make the most of it!

To live will be an awfully big adventure. — Peter Pan

me and mom

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