For the ten year anniversary of finding out about and getting in touch with my biological family, I wanted to do something special, but I’ve been struggling with it. Every year I write a sweet little happy anniversary note to my family, and we celebrate. Last year we celebrated it together in person for the... Continue Reading →
Yet Another “Be Grateful” Post
This. Is. Horrible. Do not do this to people. I had five years with my birth father, Rick, and even though they were five long and incredible years and I have many amazing memories with him, I could have known him much longer. I could have had more. I AM grateful. Very grateful. But don't... Continue Reading →
I Will Not Stop Roaring.
Timing is everything. Something my mom's friend once said to me and my husband. Growth cannot be forced. We are different people before and after every transformation, and we never know when those transformations are coming or who we will become. The right timing isn't necessarily when you think it'll be right, and most of... Continue Reading →
Adoptive Parents, Stop Hiding Your Kids’ Stories From Them
"All we know is your birth mother's name, (name lastname), and that you were born in San Antonio. We don't know if she was married. We don't know if you have siblings."I have my adoption file. I found it while cleaning out my mother's apartment months after her death. It has my hospital records, forms... Continue Reading →
Yeah. I hate it. I mean no offense to my friends who use the term, but as an adult adoptee who has gone through the adoptee fog (is still), I have to say I find it tactless, insensitive, childish, and rude. It makes me, personally, feel like I'm a thing that was obtained. Gotten. Purchased.... Continue Reading →
My Story Is Mine.
Please. Even if you think they aren't capable of handling certain information. Even if you're worried about what they might think of you or anyone else.Children are capable of so much and they are smarter and wiser than adults give them credit for. Tell them. Even if you think the secret is too big.
“I Wish I Was Adopted”
I never understood why I didn't like when people say they wish they were adopted until I read this excerpt this morning. I get that those people are hurting and have experienced trauma, but adoption is also trauma. A whole other different world of trauma. And while traumas should never be compared, they are different.... Continue Reading →
This is so true. For everyone, but I'm speaking specifically for coming out of the fog of adoption. I've been setting boundaries since my mom died almost three years ago, and have been slowly setting more and more as I discover my true self and what I'm unwilling to tolerate. People who knew you as... Continue Reading →
Who Was I Supposed To Be? I Don’t Know; My Trauma Happened Too Early
No, because I was adopted. Because of that, I was never who I was supposed to be before the world told me "no". My trauma happened too early for me to have developed that person.I've been told "no" from the beginning, from day 8 on, because of my adoption - my bio parents left the... Continue Reading →
*Trigger warning: self harm*Though I have been open about this with a few people, I've never been public about it, so writing this is a bit nerve wracking. I am not being open for pity. In fact, pity is one of my triggers so please respect that. I don't write for that kind of attention... Continue Reading →